I can vouch for the fact, that maintaining your fitness after forty is no small feat. I have managed to maintain an active lifestyle, having weighed over 300 pounds my entire life. A medical condition in my toddler years made it mandatory for me to take a pill every day for almost a decade, which had the side effect of hampering my weight gain. I weighed about 125 pounds till I was around 15 when the regular pill was discontinued by my doctor. As soon as the pill stopped, I gained almost 150 pounds within a year and a half.
Since then, the body shaming and fat jokes have been a constant experience for me. I still walked quite a bit, hiked distances of over 20 miles a day during my vacations and was quite an agile cricket player, and still, to those even closest to me, I was a lazy fat kid, nothing more. My academic achievements, extracurricular activities, pretty good acting and singing came with an asterisk attached. I may not have admitted this to anyone, but I had to struggle a lot to crawl out of the pit of self-doubt, which was self-inflicted but arose from a variety of ill will and toxic humour aimed at me.
It has taken more than a quarter of a century to come to the conclusion; and mind you, it is by no way a finished task, that body shaming does not come naturally, even to those who are seen doing it on a day-to-day basis on internet, tv and social media. It arises out of a deep fear, that they too will face it as soon as they let go, even slightly. I have seen many people around me, who have fallen prey to this 'fitness at any cost' scam raging around us. Let us face the facts, it is not easy to keep going to the gym and stick to the diet charts and intermittent fasting schedules. Many are not able to afford the personal trainers and subscription fees, many just can't do it due to the ever-demanding work schedules, and work travel, which becomes a necessity as soon as you have responsibilities. Many of us start the fitness routine but fail when it comes to consistency. Sometimes it is just impossible. And believe me, not everyone healthy, husky or fluffy is in their position due to lack of physical activity.
I have tried to deal with the enormous dent in my self-respect with many tools. I have tried belligerence, self-deprecation, rebellion and ignorance. In the end, I came to a realisation, which you may even regard as my 'Buddha's enlightenment' moment, the Nirvana that the great guy was telling us to strive for. Just be. I am not saying be belligerent, be rebellious, be ignorant or be self-deprecating. I am saying, just be. Do what you can for yourself and for those who are closest to you despite your challenges. Be aware of your health, and be sure to maintain the best possible lifestyle that is flexible to your needs. If all you have is a doughnut, a milkshake, or a steak, have it. Nothing good ever came from suffering to conform, that too to such a stupid standard set by those who look down upon you. While saying that, I am not advising you to let yourself go completely. You need to be around for yourself and for those who depend on you. Try your best to be healthy, both physically and mentally. But remember, weight is not the only indicator of good health.
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